Perry,
The kids and I extend our deepest condolences to you. You were an amazing husband. You stood by her thru thick and thin; with loyalty and love.
It doesn't seem fair that you had to lose a piece of your heart in such a way. We often wonder how God can put such tragedy in our paths, however, thru these past few years you were given a gift of clarity in the blessing that you had with her. You were shown to appreciate every day with her. Most live their whole lives taking for granted what God has put in front of them; only to throw it away.
As terrible as it is to say you were blessed thru all of this, you really were; and so was she!
You were here angel from the get go; the love of her life. That will never be replaced but will keep you warm inside when you think back to how strong she made you!
Always remember:
"Death leaves a heartache that no one can heal,
Love leaves a memory that no one can steal"
Nothing can take away from the pain you feel right now. I sent this (from a soul that lost their Love of their Life too) to a dear friend of mine whom recently lost her husband suddenly; and maybe it will make you feel comfort too.
The pain/scars are a testament to the love in the relationship. Just like scar tissue when it repairs it is stronger than normal flesh; you too will become stronger out of this.
That doesn’t mean you will forget or that grief won’t be there.
Grief you will find comes in waves. Right now you may feel like you were in a ship wreck and drowning as you see the debris of your world around you. Right now all you can do is float. You will find something to hold on to that reminds you and makes you feel close to them; such as your little furbabies.
In the beginning it will seem like the wages are 100 feet tall and come every 10 seconds and you are trying to just catch your breath and hang on. This is normal!
But just as the ocean ebbs and tides sometime the waves will only seem 80 feet then 50 feet, and they will start to be farther apart. You will eventually see them coming (holidays, birthdays, special places) Allowing you to prepare yourself for them. And when they hit you let them wash over you; yes enjoy the wave of emotions for the one that you loved so deeply. You will know that you can survive these; cuz you survived the initial onslaught. For the deeper the scar the deeper the love; you will come out on the other side; wet and sputtering but you will come out of it ok.
The waves will never stop coming and somehow in a weird way you won’t want them to. But you will learn that you can survive them too. The scar that she leaves behind is a badge of honor that you earned thru loving her with all you have; don’t short change that. Few people get the opportunity to show how much they loved someone. You were blessed and honored to do such a thing.
I pray you find solace in the journey you have now; but know you are not alone; she is now watching over you along with God.
